I am guilty. James
put his finger right upon the guilt in my soul.
He pointed it out and I saw it. I
wanted to look away. But, I am guilty of
a double grumble.
James said, “Don’t grumble about each other or you will be
judged, and the judge is right outside the door” (James 5:9 CEV). And then, with the Holy Spirit holding the
flash light, James pointed at a shadowy place in my soul where the double
grumble was hiding. It growled. It barked.
It snarled its teeth, not wanting to come into the light.
I said, “Lord, there it is.
I’m guilty. I’ve been grumbling
about grumblers. I’ve been complaining
about those who complain. I’ve enjoyed
pointing out their sin and immaturity.
And, in doing so, I’ve been guilty of the same.”
As if spanked on the hind-quarters, my sin heard my
confession, and yelped fully into the light where I keep it chained, because I
need to keep an eye on it.
Maybe you’ve noticed; that which gets us angry, that which
gets our righteous condemnation, that which we whisper about to others, the sin
we point out in others, is often present in us.
We respond to grumbling by grumbling.
We claim we are not cared for when we have not taken the
pains to be active in the church community where, if we were full participants,
we would have to care for others.
We gripe about those in power, in part, because we want to
be those in power. We’re jealous.
We gossip about the gossips.
We insinuate that so-and-so is stupid because we desperately
want to be seen as smart.
When Jesus said, “Before you take the speck out of another’s
eye, take the log out of your own eye”, he was on to something. When I am guilty of that which I happily identify
in another I enlarge the sin. I double
the grumble.
As Ash Wednesday and Lent approach I intend to keep my
double grumble in the light where I can see him. Examination of one’s life and soul in the
holy light of God’s Spirit and the scriptures are emphases in Lent. In fact, I’ll take special effort to notice
what gets me angry, what stirs up my righteous indignation. Chances are there is a double-something
lurking in the shadows, chewing on my soul, needing to be brought into the
light.
