It’s been a long time since I’ve been the new guy in
town. My family had thirteen years of
rooted living in Greenbrier County. We
knew people. We expected to get into
conversations when we went to the grocery store. We usually knew which “Bob” folks were
referring to, even though they didn’t use a last name, just because we were
familiar with Bob’s life. We knew the
routines of the ball teams, the church meetings, the schools. All of that has changed. We’re the new people.
In my experience as a pastor and as a “new guy” I’ve noticed
a few things. Small communities and
small churches want new people. New
people are a sign of vitality. We’ have
a God-given call to reach new folks.
And, they bring new gifts and energy.
But, let’s be honest, small communities and small churches are
sometimes made nervous by new comers. When you don’t encounter a new comer
often it can be hard to know how to act or what questions to ask. Should you
give them some space, ask for their life story, invite them to lunch?
If I could offer some thoughts that might help small
churches and small communities let new comers know that they are welcomed and
wanted:
·
New comers who have recently moved into the area
can be grieving the place they left.
They may struggle with the emotional energy needed to take the
initiative in making new friendships.
Gentle introductions, friendly welcomes, and taking the time to express
interest in their lives brings emotional energy to those who are grieving the
place they left. “Hello, my name is
__________. I’m ______________. I am very glad to see you. Can I sit with you today?”
·
New comers will have doubts about whether they
are welcome to be a part of a community or church if those already present do
not quickly make effort to welcome them.
Churches – If folks at the door do not take interest in a visitor and
make effort to welcome them you reduce your chances of getting them back next
week. And, if folks inside the church
stare and whisper rather than welcome new comers, you are not likely to see
them again. Folks who study such things have said that visitors come to
conclusions about a church within the first five to ten minutes of their visit.
·
Newcomers will be confused. If a church makes an announcement, “Contact
brother so-and-so if you want to go to the game”, you are not likely to get a
new comer to attend. They don’t know who
brother so-and-so so is and they may not know how to contact him. Personal
invitations with offers of sincere hospitality work.
·
If a church or community spends a great deal of
time talking about things that only people already in the group would
understand the newcomers will probably feel like the group or church is a
closed group.
·
One has to think like a new comer to welcome a
new comer. Churches – if no one takes on
the ministry of welcoming people the pastor will be the one to do it. If the pastor is the one who welcomes YOU
WILL LOSE A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF YOUR VISITORS. Visitors believe that pastors are paid to
welcome people. However, visitors tend
to believe that welcoming lay folk do so because God is in them.
·
Churches who welcome well are gracious, not
pushing new comers to become officers or to quickly take over ministries. And, yet, churches that welcome well can make
room for new comers to become a part of the ministries of the church (even in
the church kitchen).
·
Warm welcomes in congregations are reinforced by
tangible reminders of that welcome. Many
churches provide an informational brochure about the church or a simple gift
with the churches name on it (coffee mug, pen, etc.).
A small church I pastored, located on an out of the road, was a warm and welcoming congregation. A couple with two small children decided to visit one Sunday. The way that congregation welcomed them has helped to change that family forever. In time, the couple was married and the family was baptized. The congregation enveloped them in friendship. They were transformed.
I am very grateful for the welcome that First UMC, Romney,
has given my sons and wife. The church
family there has been gentle, open, inviting and sincerely hospitable. They now how to welcome new people.
United Methodist Communications offers many resources to
help a church strengthen its inviting and welcoming ministries; training, door
hangers, social media resources… Check
them out at http://shop.umc.org/training/welcoming-ministry.
As we are grateful for the gracious way that Christ has welcomed us into God's family, let us, also, seek and welcome others.
As we are grateful for the gracious way that Christ has welcomed us into God's family, let us, also, seek and welcome others.
